Sunt sigur ca toti ati auzit de celebrul serial de comedie Two & a half men. Aseara pe la 23.30 mi-am oprit privirea asupra unui tracker unde foarte frumos statea scris : Two And A Half Men S05E01. Am ramas foarte uimit sa vad k a mai inceput un sezon deoarece primele 4 au fost cu adevarat comice. Episodul 1 al sezonului 5 continua aceasta traditie si nu dezamageste deloc. Vi-l recomand cu cea mai mare caldura in cazul in care aveti nevoie de un ras cu gura pana la urechi 
Multumiri producatorilor k au avut geniala ideea de a continua serialul. Nota 10 cu felicitari 
Replici din film (link)
[Charlie has arranged a "play date" for Jake]
Charlie: The kid plays, and I have a date. Everybody wins.
Alan: Are you happy?
Charlie: I have my moments, but they’re getting farther apart.
Alan: What’s the matter with you?
Charlie: I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker… We spent the afternoon eating off each other’s plates and discussing my fear of intimacy.
Alan: Show me the better.
Alan: I was afraid you’d pick up on that.
Evelyn Harper: I’m not speaking to you.
Charlie: OK
Evelyn Harper: Do you want to know why?
Charlie: No, I trust your judgment.
Charlie: Why don’t you make like a hockey player, and get the puck out of here.
Charlie: Look, Jake, I’m sorry about the Wendy thing, but there’s nothing I can do about it. And I want us to be buddies again, I don’t want you to hate me, any more.
Jake: I don’t hate you.
Charlie: Good.
Jake: I’m just very disappointed in you.
Charlie: Hey, I get enough of that crap from my mother.
Alan: Well you know what, it doesn’t matter if I look cool, we judge a person by what’s inside, not by what they wear.
Jake: Lucky for you, huh.
Alan: This is not who I am.
Charlie: Yeah, but who you are, couldn’t get laid under water, with a tank full of oxygen.
Judith: How was your weekend?
Jake: Uncle Charlie says I don’t have to tell you.
Alan: Jake, go to your room.
Jake: If you’re going to talk about sex, why don’t you go to your own room?
Alan: [
turning to Jake] Now!
[
looks at a picture of the pretty actress that will be his date]
Alan: That her?
[
blows his nose]
Alan: I’m cured!
Charlie: I remember your high school friend Jamie Eckleberry. We used to call her Eckleberry Hound.
Alan: You used to call her that.
Charlie: I didn’t name her that. I just spread it around. Hey, be sure to keep her off the rug.
Alan: Very funny. You know she’s very successful in her field.
Charlie: Oh, how nice. She has a field to run around in!
Alan: This is getting old.
Charlie: In people or dog years? Look, I’ll be nice. I’ll say hello… then scratch behind her ears.
Alan: Are you done yet?
Charlie: I hope she looks fetching. OK, now I’m done.
[
There's a knock at the door. Jamie enters, wearing a curve hugging dress and showing off lots of cleavage]
Charlie: [
with his mouth hanging open] Woof!
Sean Penn: Back off, Mary Poppins.
Elvis Costello: [
while writing down song lyrics based on Sean Penn's thoughts, Elvis Costello comes up with an excuse for what he's writing down] Shopping list.
Charlie: Bought some hamburgers, Bought the hats; ate the hamburgers, wearing the hats.
Alan: Hold on Mom,
[
puts a hand over the phone]
Alan: Charlie, Mom says if she is ever comatose, she wants you to decided to pull the plug or not.
Charlie: [
doesn't even think about it] Pull.
Alan: Mom, Charlie on board.
Alan: Jake, for the last time, nobody got “creamed”, no one won, no one lost.
Jake: Yeah except for us, twelve to two.
Charlie: Well it doesn’t matter if you win or lose; it’s whether or not you beat the spread.
Alan: Help me Charlie, I wanna sing for no reason.
Alan: She just throw me out after ten years!
Charlie: How did you get in my house?
Frankie: You’re gonna get laid tonight.
Alan: [
starts tearing up] I think I might cry again.
Jake: I understand.
Charlie: Do you?
Jake: No, I’m just tired and I don’t care anymore.
Charlie: I’ll admit you’re kookie Judith. But compared to our mother you’re like a fart in a hurricane.
[
Charlie has run into some financial trouble]
Charlie: I can’t do this anymore. I quit.
Alan: You can’t quit poverty, Charlie.
Alan: [
Alan is sleep walking] Gort. Klatuu, barada, nikto.
Charlie: What?
Alan: [
seductively] You know…
Charlie: You know, it wouldn’t kill you to talk to Mom once in a while.
Alan: We don’t know that.
Charlie: A clueless woman is a happy woman.
Charlie: Drugs! Get me drugs!
Alan: No. Medication will only mask the pain.
Charlie: Fine, mask it! Give it a cape and let it fight crime, I don’t give a damn!
[
after Alan forgot to pick him up at school]
Jake: How many kids you got?
Alan: [
to Charlie] Does your penis have an off switch?
Charlie: [
after Jake spends a night at Evelyn's house] Do you realize that he
[
Jake]
Charlie: did in one night, what we could never do in our lifetime.
Alan: He broke her.
Charlie: He chewed her up and spit her out.
Alan: It was a beautiful thing.
Sherri: [
standing in the bedroom, wearing a negligee] You’re unbelievable, Alan.
Alan: Now, that could be taken a number of ways…
Sherri: Get out!
Alan: No ambiguity there.
Charlie: [
making a deal with Alan while standing at a urinal] Want to shake on it?
Charlie: [
their mother just came to visit] So… to what do we owe the…
Evelyn Harper: Pleasure?
Charlie: No, that’s not it.
Evelyn Harper: Well, I just felt like coming by to see some people who I love very much.
Alan: And they weren’t home?
Evelyn Harper: [
Evelyn left her bra in Charlie's car] Now go get Mommy’s bra.
[
Charlie stands and pulls the bra out of his pocket. Pause]
Evelyn Harper: Oh, darling, that’s just sick.
[
Evelyn takes the bra. Starts to walk away, then turns back to Charlie]
Evelyn Harper: Seek help.
Evelyn Harper: [
Evelyn's in the hospital. Charlie keeps pulling out a plug and re-inserting it] Charlie, what are you doing?
Charlie: Practicing.
Judith: Now was that so hard?
Alan: No, actually, it was surprisingly easy.
[
shuts door]
Alan: All I had to do was bend over and unclench.
Evelyn Harper: I need to find something black.
[
for the funeral]
Charlie: I think your heart counts.
Charlie: [
Alan is supposed to have a colonoscopy, and is very worried about it] Count your blessings; in the old days, they had to send a sketch-artist up there.
Isabella: [
chanting] Annoint him, annoint him, annoint him.
Charlie: [
singing] I can’t stop this feeling, deep inside of me, girl, you just don’t realize what you do to me.
Rose: When your psyche is iffy, you can’t get a stiffy.
Charlie: Secret elixir, huh? Well, I’m usually more of a bourbon guy but when push comes to shove I don’t know what the hell’s in that either.
Charlie: People who live in fat asses shouldn’t throw waffles.
Judith: I think he needs to see someone.
Alan: What, you mean like a shrink?
Judith: No, I mean like a blacksmith. This is clearly a reaction to our divorce - he’s not processing his emotions in a healthy way and I think therapy could help unblock him.
Alan: Where did you get that?
Judith: From my therapist.
Alan: [
sarcastically] Who’s working wonders for you.
Judith: Excuse me!
Alan: [
sincerely] Who’s working wonders for you.
Alan: He’s just a normal 11-year-old boy who happens to be grumpy.
Judith: And I’m just a normal 35-year-old mother who happens to be running out of patience, and by patience I mean Prozac.
Alan: Wait a minute, you can’t still be 35.
Jake: Hey uncle Charlie, what’s green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree onto you it will hurt
Charlie: I don’t know what.
Jake: A pool table ha ha ha ha that’s funny because you wouldn’t think of that.
Dr. Linda Freeman: Do you like puppets?
Jake: Not really.
Dr. Linda Freeman: [
taking out the cow-puppet and changing her voice] Neither do I!
Charlie: [
while shopping for perfume for the mother] We’re looking for perfume for our mother’s birthday.
Female worker in department store: Do you know what her favourite scent is?
Charlie: Yes, do you have Chanel #666?
Alan: You’ll go to mom’s funeral, won’t you Charlie?
Charlie: Of course! As the eldest son, it’s my duty to pound the last stake into her heart.
Alan: That’s typical, nothing for Alan to do.
Charlie: Alright, you can chop off her head and put it onto a stake for the villagers.
Alan: Thank you!
[
repeated line]
Alan: Nevertheless…
Alan: There’s a special section in Hell reserved for people like you Charlie
Charlie: That’s good, because I’d hate to stand in line!
Well, a trecut ceva timp de cand ma jucam cu masinutele alea care se transformau in roboti si uite ca am apucat sa traiesc si ziua in care sa vad ecranizarea acestor jucarii. Un film foarte reusit cu multe faze comice, cu multe situatii care te lasa uimit. Ideea acestui film este urmatoarea : De secole doua rase de roboti - Autoboti si Decepticoni - se lupta avand drept miza a razboiului soarta Universului. Atunci cand campul de bataie ajunge sa fie Pamantul, elementul surpriza care poate decide soarta razboiului se afla in mana lui Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBoeuf). Un tanar obisnuit, Sam are grijile celor de varsta lui, adica scoala, prieteni, masini si fete. Fara sa stie ca el este cel ce poate decide soarta rasei umane, Sam si colega lui pe care ar vrea sa o transforme in iubita lui, Mikaela, se trezesc in mijlocul confruntarii dintre roboti. Soarta lumii intregi atarna de un fir de ata si astfel Sam afla intelesul dictonului familiei Witwicky: ‘victoria cere sacrificii’.
Uitati-va si voi sau in caz k l-ati vazut m-ai uitati-va o data ca merita.
