I.ve reached level 29 in life and I have to admit it is a bit different than what I.ve expected. I don.t even know where to start with the things that changed from the previous level. So … not necessarily in this order, here’s what’s up.
On the personal level, well, a shitload of stuff happened. Stuff that I cannot talk about here. The point is that I.ve learnt new things about myself. I.ve learnt new things about the people in my life. I.ve removed some persons from my life and new ones came along. Some very good friends are still here and for this I.m thankful.
I’m no longer an employee of Emerson. Joy and sadness. Joy because I got to make the career step that I wanted and sadness for all the beautiful people that I.ve left behind. Emerson was the place where I.ve made a lot of close friends and it made the transition from my hometown to Cluj, much easier. A lot of memories, smiles, good times and friendships that I hope it would last a lifetime. The way this new job changed me, it’s unbelievable. It made me more alert, more focus; it taught me details and paying attention to them while having the mind set on the big picture. It changed the way I approach tasks and the way I interact with people. It changed me for the better. I’m not saying it.s easy, because it’s hard as hell, but as we know, nothing good comes out of the comfort zone.
With regards to the means of transportation, I had to breakup with by beloved Hornet. Its place was taken by the mistress that I.ve had my eyes on every since I.ve taken my license. The beautiful CBR F4i. Circumstances, responsibility and friends kept me from choosing this bike as my first one. So the battle was fought between a Bandit and a Hornet and we all know who won. But eventually we both knew it was time for a change. With it, a new rider to be introduced into the world of riding and a new toy awaited to satisfy my needs. In four months i.ve already ridden more than I did in a full season with the Hornet. So I guess that’s a step forward. A dangerous (but pleasant) step forward.
As far as travelling goes, last year, November had France and Switzerland. May came with a business trip in Germany where I manage to visit a lot of beautiful places. July had Rome and memories that are still making me smile. And September showed me in ten days the beauty of Malta. This November will start a new series of adventures with Bratislava and Wien. But this is a topic for the next year.
Ok, now I.ve said in the beginning that it.s different than what I.ve expected. Why? Because this level has a lot of mixed feelings. Feelings with regards to the people that are (and were) in my life. Things are not as what I.ve imagined and this scares me. Some things are better than I.ve imagined and this scares me even more. The feeling of not deserving. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of unknown. They’re still here and it makes me doubt myself sometimes. It’s gonna take me a while to get passed this, but slowly I.m learning to dance with my devils. I.ve learnt tons of things that would get me towards where I want to go. And beyond. To more beautiful places. To more beautiful feelings. And for the people who are bearing with me, with my moods and my childish self, I want you to know that I appreciate your kindness and patience. I know it.s not easy and that I a stubborn hard head sometimes. Bear with me.
I.ve also learnt about the brittleness of life. Riding a motorcycle makes you appreciate every moment of every day. Every day could be your last. That’s why I revealed my gratitude and my thoughts to the people I love. I want them to know how I feel about them before it.s too late. Things that you don’t say are forever lost.
Talking about the next levels. Hmm, what plans do I have? Right! Some and None. Why Some? Because I can plan all the things that I want to do and also depends only on me. Going someplace, learning a new skill, developing a new ability, etc. These things I can plan and do. Why None? Because if it involves other people, than it.s out of my control. I can only be myself, do the things that seems normal and natural to me and from that point, hope for the best. I’m an optimistic dreamer and I still choose to see goodness even if it will make me suffer. At least for now. I cannot say about the future me.
Once again, a big thank you for all the beautiful people that are still in my life. You guys are the best! Thank you for all the wishes and good intentions. May we make this year another memorable one!